Kadang Ahjumma tak habis fikir, hati manusia bisa berubah drastis.. to my surprise, its the 1st time i met someone who's heart is forever unpredictable. and because of that, i bare the consequences having my life torned apart and upside down..For whatever good reason he has for himself (semoga Allah senantiasa mengkaruniakan Hidayah, keselamatan dan kesejahteraan baginya).
If i want to wallow, crumble and die. i could. And then what? would anyone care? everyone would be too busy worrying about their own precious life. And whos gonna worry about mine? of course me, myself, and I.
What do i have left, other then a shattered heart? oh i still have alot. God granted me so many things which are often neglected.. Good health, good conscience, good friends, and definitly i got my kid to comfort me with his mesmerizing smile.
At my age, its not the time to look for a scape goat or someone to blame. Because i believe God send me different kinds of people to educate me, to make me learn lessons of life, to be wiser, to step into the next level. After this, there will be more people coming with diferent kinds of purpose.
I believe its a never ending struggle, different people, different struggle, and keep moving on, to the top of my capability, my strength. after that, HE will take over anything that may look imposible.
Now, how do i keep this spirit? because my future is like a clean piece of paper. ready to be written. One thing i keep in mind whenever my heart feels achingly hurt its the word of the Subtly Kind, Ever Returning and Ever Relenting ONE.
"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman jadikanlah sabar dan sholat sebagai penolongmu. Sesungguhnya Allah beserta orang-orang yang sabar." - QS Al Baqarah [2] ayat 153
(Mohammed Marmaduke Pickthall)2:153 "O ye who believe! Seek help in steadfastness, and prayer. Lo! Allah is with the steadfast."
Ahjumma pasrahkan pada Allah.. atas dosa-dosa besar yang telah Ahjumma lakukan. Di masa depanku yang putih.. Ahjumma masih memiliki harapan untuk mempertahankan pintu syurga-ku.. Aamiin YRA
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